Miz Woody's Place

If children live with ridicule,
they learn to be shy.

If children live with encouragement,
they learn confidence.

Do you remember this poem?

It rings true because we’ve all experienced at least a part of what the author describes.

I was about 8-9 years old. My aunt was visiting from out of town.  Mom and Aunt Judy were in the kitchen doing motherly things. I don’t remember why I had a jar of mayonnaise in my hand. I do remember that I dropped it and it smashed in a gooey-glassy mess .

My mother spat, “Just get out of the kitchen.”

Aunt Judy said, “She’s old enough to clean up her own mess.”

Mom replied disgustedly, “No she’s not.”

I slunk away, humiliated.

Fast forward 14 or 15 years: incident with mayo is completely forgotten. I’m bustling around in my own kitchen and I drop a full carton of eggs.

Gooey-crunchy mess.

I become lividly angry.

Darling Husband, wanting to spare me, comes in and offers to clean it up.

I shout, “No. I’m old enough to clean up my own mess!”

All the power of that humiliation was still there, just waiting for an incident to remind me that I was clumsy, powerless and don’t deserve to be with the grownups.

Why am I telling you this?

Two reasons:

1.  Watch your words.

Never underestimate your power to build up or tear down your child’s confidence, trust, sense of worth and desire to be around you.  All it takes are a few ill-chosen words.

“No wonder I never take you anywhere.”

“Can’t you do anything without whining?”

“What is the matter with you?”

2.  Leave your parents’ words behind.

When you do dredge up those hurtful memories, do not wallow in the pain,. Do not feel sorry for yourself or blame your parents for their mistakes. Instead, re-think the situation.  You are no longer a child, so you can see the matter in a new light.

I can look back at the mayo incident and say,

1. Mom was probably tired and stressed from having company (who knows how long that visit was?)
2. Mom id not have the benefit of hearing Dr. Dobson, Dr. Laura, Dr. Phil, etc.  All she had to go on was the parenting she received.
3. Most of all, she did not tell the truth. I was capable, I was a good kid, I was worthy.

Now, when those old feelings come up, I can say, “Nope. That wasn’t true then and it isn’t true now. I am capable, and worthy. “

I move on in confidence.

You can too.

Blessings on you!

Marilyn

I simply love looking at interior design sites and magazines. To be strictly honest, it goes much deeper than that: I’m actually addicted…badly addicted. But enough about me.

I recently came across a site by the same name as a “family magazine.” There was a nice little design article about children’s rooms and bookcases. It showed four or five different kid’s rooms with bookcases featured. The lovely photos were paired with the usual sprightly comments about the accessories shown and where you could buy them. So far, so good, right?

Is it just me, or does $4,000 seem a tad high for a chair in a child’s room? Perhaps I’m too fussy, because it did look stunning next to the mid-century-look bookcase (a mere $560.) Still, I have to wonder about the bone china lamp.

Not $4,000

It kind of makes you wonder: what kind of families is this family magazine trying to reach? Tori Spelling was on the cover. Maybe that should have been a clue. I don’t know.

Do rich kids not have pillow fights or turn cartwheels in their rooms? Or, is a broken designer lamp (a) disposable and (b) something the maid cleans up?

Perhaps my favorite you-gotta-be-kidding item was a $2,000 Tulu rug. Turns out a Tulu is a natural fiber shag carpet made in India by native tribal people (whom, I’m betting aren’t getting any $2K a pop for them.)

These you can wash!

I once had a remnant of 70’s shag carpet in my kids’ room. I can tell you from experience that when your toddler and four year old both start spewing flu-related fluids, your shag carpet will definitely be a disposable item. Surely, even Tori Spelling would think twice before putting a $2,000 version in a child’s room. Don’t you think?

Or, maybe it’s just me.

© Marilyn Woodard 2009

The United States faces a shortage of doctors in rural areas. FOCA is about to Make it worse. This legislation threatens pro-Life doctors with jail if they refuse to perform an abortion.

Below is a copy of my letter to my senators and congressman concerning the Freedom of Choice Act.

Feel free to share it with your own representatives in congress and to pass it along to your friends.

Dear Senator,

Please vote against the so-called Freedom of Choice Act.

This act is blatantly anti-Life, anti-freedom, and inhumane.

I understand it contains a provision to deny parents the right to know that their child will have, or has had, an abortion.  Aside from any personal convictions about the sanctity of life, this provision assumes that the state – NOT a parent – has primary responsibility for the care of minor children.

Further, I understand that it denies doctors the right to refuse to perform abortions.  Since when does the Constitution of the United States allow the government to deny human beings the freedom to follow their own conscience?

If you plan to vote for this, you need to publicly explain why you think the above abrogations of God-given rights are good for the people of Indiana.

Denying God-given rights is the business of fascists, not the Congress of the United States.

Sincerely,

Marilyn Woodard

Barack Obama Promises to Sign FOCA

The Freedom of Choice Act is not about freedom.

It takes away your right to know that your minor daughter has chosen to get an abortion. How can you be free to parent your daughter if the federal government takes away your right to know?

President Obama has sworn to sign this bill as soon as it gets to his desk.

This is about:

• your freedom
• your family
• your rights
• your child’s health
• life and death

Do as you see fit.

http://www.fightfoca.com

A response to a Myspace bulletin from a young friend who is a Senior in high school, doesn’t know what the future holds, doesn’t know what she wants it to hold, and is a little stressed over it.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

That part, “Prepared in advance”, says in the King James, “God hath before ordained“. It’s not like he baked a cake and hopes you’ll eat it. He’s laid some serious groundwork for you.
I think God made you to do something very special. If you are seeking his plan, there is no way he’s gonna’ let you miss it.

Ah, but how to find it?

Your first clue is the gifts, passions and interests God put in you. You love what you love for a reason. It doesn’t have to be something “approved” by the church, or your family, or the educational system. Every interest can – should – must! – be given to God. He uses the craziest things! For instance, you have an interest in fashion. That doesn’t sound very holy. For sure, many people use it for unholy ends. But that is true of carpentry, writing, medicine and the law. Every gift can be used to honor God and bless people, or to increase darkness, pain and misery.

You don’t have to figure out the whole puzzle, just be the piece you were meant to be.

The other thing I know is that “A man plans his way, but the LORD determines his steps.” (That’s in Proverbs – I don’t know where and I’m way too busy to look it up!) Part of what that means is that God has your future, so don’t sweat it. I think another part is that we can only take life one step at a time. I really hate that! I’d love to know that the step I’m taking is the right one and it will lead to a lovely time for all. God’s plan is, “The just shall live by faith.” (That’s in the Bible, like, 4 times!)

As for the whole “Significant Other” thing…there again, one step at a time. You never know what (or whom) is around the corner – and there are corners everywhere!

My plan was to go through college and not get married until I was at least 24. Then there was this 3-week window where I could meet my Darling Husband. I was 17! Poof! There went my plan.

Blessings on you, Friend. You don’t have to know what to do. You know the One who knows.

“I NEED TO KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT …
Please give me a structured environment where there is a dependable routine.
Give me an advance warning if there will be changes. “ – Author Unknown

I first learned this concept from my sister. I didn’t have any children at the time, so you know it was unusual for me to notice. Her kids (7 and 2 years old) were playing and she told them they had five more minutes to play and then they would need to eat lunch. It struck me because (a) I’d never seen anyone do that before, and (b) it seemed so reasonable, fair and…polite.

I mean, I remember being a kid – well, parts of it…little parts of it. But I DO remember playing the piano and being asked to stop and set the table. Now.

I was not the rebellious type kid (I suspect that was why Mom usually tapped me for the table setting job) but, I did occasionally experience selective deafness. Asking me to stop in the middle of a piece…honestly, would it kill her to let me finish “Wedding in Birdland”? It’s not like I was in the middle of the “Warsaw Concerto”!

Yeah, kids need time to adjust from one activity to another and the younger they are, or the more intense they are, the more time they need. Plus, as I said, it’s polite. And kids learn their behavior from…
…you guessed it…
You.

Blessings on you