Miz Woody's Place

whologwhy @ Flickr.com

My Dear Child,

I know your self-esteem has

taken a beating

and your troubles

seem overwhelming.

So I have something important

to tell you.





God has chosen you to be his heir:
not just one of his creatures, but his child:
and not just any child,
but one who inherits her father’s estate.
(Very rarely does a father divide his estate and
allow any but the first born son a part of it.)

He who chose you saved you by grace,
not because of anything you can do for him
but, just because that’s how much he loves you.

He is the same one who keeps you in your faith
and helps you grow,
even if doing so requires a period of distress;
even if doing so requires distresses many and varied.

He takes no pleasure in your pain.
But he looks forward to how much more
beautiful and joyful you will be
when the testing has scoured away
your doubts and fears.

He loves you – he knows how much you can take
and he’s proud that you keep on believing in him;
you keep going.

Should you get to the place where you cannot finish,
he will pick you up and carry you.

And get this!
Your perseverance is, in truth,
a beautiful grand-prize trophy
that you get to give to Jesus;
and everyone – especially he! –
will consider it a high honor to him!

Having trouble believing this?
Well, I didn’t make it up.

It’s in Peter’s first book, chapter one, verses 1- 9.

Blessings on you,

Marilyn

Be Sociable, Share!

• 

Photo: mesec od papira @ Flickr

“Please give me praise for partial success.

Reward me for self-improvement,

not just for perfection.”

Author Unknown

My husband and I have this ongoing battle – well, it’s more of a tiff – over the sponge in the kitchen sink.  See, that’s the problem.  The sponge is in the sink.

I don’t have a problem with the sponge being in the sink.  That’s where you use it, right?  But my Darling operates at the expense of several deficits:

• his brain is hard wired for details
• he comes from a perfectionist gene pool
• his mother was a nurse
• and then he just had to take that college course in microbiology

When I see the sponge in the sink I think, “Oh good, there’s the sponge.”

When Darling see the sponge in the sink he thinks, “ Fungi! Disease!  Plague!”

So, I try to wring out the sponge and set it on the counter.  I do try.  But, you see, I am not the one with the Fear of Bacteria.  I don’t see this as a matter of life and death.  So, I really don’t actively think about the sponge on a regular basis.  Hence, Darling does tend to find it in the sink from time to time.

But here’s the thing:

He thinks he finds it in the sink all the time.  This is not true.  However, as fallible beings will, he tends to notice the sponge only when he is annoyed.  When the sponge is in the “correct” spot, he is not annoyed therefore, he does not see it.

You know, I’m a big girl with a fairly positive self-image, so I can handle Darling’s annoyance.

But, how would that be if I were six…

…and trying to please my Daddy, and he never noticed when I did what he wanted me to?

Awful.  That’s how it would be: awful.  I really need my Mom and Dad to think I’m wonderful when I’m six, or six months, or sixteen.

Mom, Dad:

Stop and think about how much better I’m doing now than I was a year ago.  Tell me you’ve noticed.  Tell me you appreciate my efforts.

Hug me and smile,

tickle me and laugh,

celebrate my successes.

Please.

Be Sociable, Share!

• 

When we begin the parenting adventure, we start wondering, how will I discipline my child?

Before you figure out your parenting style and start searching for effective techniques and tips, take a little time to figure out:

WHY am I doing this?
“Why,” you ask, “do I need to ask why? Isn’t it obvious?”

Trust me on this one. When you are parenting your heart out, dispensing wisdom and discipline for sheer love of your adorable child, they won’t like it.

And neither will you.

When your little angel is sobbing her heart out, or your teen son screams that he hates you, your only comfort will be the Stark Truth.

The Stark Truth is that discipline is your child’s lifeline to a rich and satisfying life.

Begin with the End
Envision the man your son will become. See in your mind the woman into which your little girl will blossom.

Doctor Girl

Woman Doctor

What they will become is in them right now in seedling form. You are the gardener. Your job is to protect, nourish, prune and support them through the growing season.

What do you want to see in your adult child? What kind of life do you want him to have?

Example: If you want your child to be a healthy adult, provide a healthy environment. Then, model healthy living: eat, drink, exercise and sleep moderately. Set and keep limits on bedtime, mealtimes and junk food.

Already you can see that parenting requires a lot of discipline…a lot of self-discipline on the part of the parent.

Read more about this.

Photos
teresa-stanton
terren in Virginia
The U.S. Army

Be Sociable, Share!

• 

Small bedrooms are a reality for most homeowners. Creating storage in tight quarters can be a real challenge. Even those with larger bedrooms can always use a little more storage. (How many women really have enough room for their shoes?)

Enter the Hull Bed, by Jeremy Levine Design. This is the ultimate storage bed. It is sleek and contemporary, but with it’s angled base, it practically disappears. You could gussy it up to go with any design scheme.

The drawers can be used for the obvious – clothing – but they look to be deep enough to hold extra blankets and pillows.

Readers, I dare you to watch this without dropping your jaw.

Be Sociable, Share!

• 

If children live with ridicule,
they learn to be shy.

If children live with encouragement,
they learn confidence.

Do you remember this poem about parenting?

It rings true because we’ve all experienced at least a part of what the author describes.

I was about 8-9 years old. My aunt was visiting from out of town.  Mom and Aunt Judy were in the kitchen doing motherly things. I don’t remember why I had a jar of mayonnaise in my hand. I do remember that I dropped it and it smashed in a gooey-glassy mess .

My mother spat, “Just get out of the kitchen.”

Aunt Judy said, “She’s old enough to clean up her own mess.”

Mom replied disgustedly, “No she’s not.”

I slunk away, humiliated.

Fast forward 14 or 15 years: incident with mayo is completely forgotten. I’m bustling around in my own kitchen and I drop a full carton of eggs.

Gooey-crunchy mess.

I become lividly angry.

Darling Husband, wanting to spare me, comes in and offers to clean it up.

I shout, “No. I’m old enough to clean up my own mess!”

All the power of that humiliation was still there, just waiting for an incident to remind me that I was clumsy, powerless and don’t deserve to be with the grownups.

Why am I telling you this?

Two reasons:

1.  Watch your words.

Never underestimate your power to build up or tear down your child’s confidence, trust, sense of worth and desire to be around you.  All it takes are a few ill-chosen words.

“No wonder I never take you anywhere.”

“Can’t you do anything without whining?”

“What is the matter with you?”

2.  Leave your parents’ words behind.

When you do dredge up those hurtful memories, do not wallow in the pain,. Do not feel sorry for yourself or blame your parents for their mistakes. Instead, re-think the situation.  You are no longer a child, so you can see the matter in a new light.

I can look back at the mayo incident and say,

1. Mom was probably tired and stressed from having company (who knows how long that visit was?)
2. Mom did not have the benefit of hearing Dr. Dobson, Dr. Laura, Dr. Phil, etc.  All she had to go on was the parenting she received.
3. Most of all, she did not tell the truth. I was capable, I was a good kid, I was worthy.

Now, when those old feelings come up, I can say, “Nope. That wasn’t true then and it isn’t true now. I am capable, and worthy. “

I move on in confidence.

You can too.

Blessings on you!

Marilyn

Be Sociable, Share!

•