Miz Woody's Place

I had a little health scare last week and, since I have more imagination than I need, I ran through a few scenarios, all of which ended in sudden death. It’s interesting that my scenarios never include more realistic things like illness and hospital bills – nothing but catastrophic death is dramatic enough for my imagination!

So, as I’m thinking about dying I have a very peaceful feeling. I’m convinced that Jesus’ death on the cross was enough to get me into heaven and frankly – in a purely self-centered way – I’m looking forward to it.

But, this morning, as I was thinking about the things I am doing, and plan on doing in the near future, for my husband and kids I realized; I don’t wanna’ go! It’s not that they can’t get along without me; they could. It’s that I really believe what I do for them makes a difference in their lives.

What do I do? I try to keep them fed (no small task for two college students.) Since their time at home is so limited, I help out with their laundry and errands. I am the communications hub and social secretary. I nag them to make their doctor appointments. And I listen. I rub their backs and say “Mm-hmm” while they discuss the latest frustration, joy or newsy tidbits. I smile when they come in the room.

Suddenly, I feel so important!

It’s kind of nice.

I hope you are feeling important today.

Blessings on you!
Marilyn

I caught a TV news segment on Robin Bowman’s new book, It’s Complicated. Bowman, a photojournalist, spent four years photographing teenagers across America and learning their stories. As the title suggests, the teen years are not necessarily a bed of roses.

Most of the segment was spent discussing Bowman’s reasons for writing the book. These included her own not-so-great teen years and her sense that teenagers today have a tougher time than she did. Appropriately, all of the photos shown on air were black and white with not a smile to be seen. So, this was not a hugely uplifting bit of television.

At the end of the segment, they turned to a “teen expert”, a psychologist (whose name I have forgotten – I did try to find it, sorry Dr. Teen Expert!) This man brought sanity and real hope in about 15 seconds. (Man, I wish I knew his name!) Guess what he said?

Teens need parents to care for them! They need parents who make the effort to eat meals with their kids, who take time to connect and find out who their friends are, what’s on their minds, how they are feeling, what they need.

Well, thank God for Dr. Teen Expert. He didn’t let all his education get in the way of common sense. So often I hear “experts” on TV telling us teens need more education, more government programs, more sex, less sex, more therapy, healthier food in the school cafeteria, and the list goes on. This guy had the guts to say, “Mom and Dad, you gotta’ take care of your kids!”

I’m not saying raising teens is easy, or that having dinner together will keep your kids out of trouble and improve their grades. Of course, it’s more complicated than that. But here’s what I know. Every human being needs a place where they are accepted for who they are, where people listen to them with empathy, where they are told – over and over again, in words and deeds – you matter to me. If they don’t get that at home, they will look for it elsewhere. Sadly, if they don’t get it at home they may – and often do – settle for something far less…which is when it get’s really complicated.

Blessings on you, Dr. Teen Expert!
Marilyn

Say you need a resume. Do you update an old one (if you can remember where you put it) or start over and go through the misery of finding all those names, addresses, etc? Either way it’s a hassle, right?

Oh no, my friend. That is sooooo yesterday!

Just as the Internet has changed shopping, keeping in touch, publishing, you name it – we are now in the age of the Internet Resume. I was introduced to this concept at Entrepreneur Days, an Internet business conference I recently attended in Atlanta, GA.

Jennifer Navarrete, a Social Media Expert, turned me on to LinkedIn.com
This is an online Resume and Networking site. You fill out a simple form with all your background information and it’s there for anyone looking for your expertise to view, download as a pdf, or print.

You also have the opportunity to ask questions of the community. Say you’re considering incorporating and you don’t know what kind of corporation you need. Ask a question. You’ll get answers from professionals who’ve been there, done that.

Arguably the most powerful aspect of this site is the connections aspect. Right now I have a mere five direct connections, i.e., people I know that are on LinkedIn. Through them I have 12 connections (friends of friends.) And through them I have 400 connections. Remember the old Six Degrees of Separation concept: you are six people away from any person on earth. LinkedIn is like that, only you’re probably more like three people away from any person on LinkedIn.

The next time you need to send someone a Resume, just print off your LinkedIn page. Or, better yet, email them the web address of your public profile. Here, for example, is mine:

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/9/a1b/5

Have a great day and…

Blessings on you!
Marilyn

I just returned from Entrepreneur Days in Atlanta, Georgia (that’s U.S., not the current war zone.)

Heard excellent speakers, learned some things, realized some things and met people that are going to help my business (Creating Great Homes.com – click on the link down there on the right.)

But wait! That’s not all!

While it’s hard to separate out a single best part, here’s one that has to be in contention for best part: meeting like-minded people.

Have you ever been among hundreds of people and found that you could really connect with every other person you met? Pretty amazing.

Add to that the fact that you are learning good things from almost everyone. It’s heady stuff, let me tell you!

And laugh! I laughed all weekend.

You gotta’ go next year.

Click on the Entrepreneur Days link on the lower right,
when you get to the Entrepreneur Days site, sign up for the information. That way, when it comes around next August, you’ll hear about it in time to make plans.

Blessings on you!
Marilyn

I’m gearing up to go to my third conference for entrepreneurs. I can’t wait!

I learned a ton about business, Internet marketing and gaining financial independence at the last two conferences. I am eager to go back for more financial education.

I knew I wanted to have some kind of Internet business, but wasn’t entirely clear about how to go about it. Sure, there are a zillion people online promising to make you a millionaire overnight, but frankly…I don’t trust ‘em!

I knew I needed someone to teach me, someone I could trust, but where to find such a teacher?

My husband came across an interview published on World Net Daily. That interview was with Rhea Perry. Her background as a homeschooling mom was reassuring to me. The fact that she is educating her own children in matters of business, Internet marketing and being financially independent – largely through non-traditional means – rang true.

The fact the children are welcome at her business conference underscores that she practices what she preaches. You won’t find many business meetings that welcome teenagers. But, think about it: where else are they going to learn how to become financially independent? Not in school! School prepares you for a job.

So, off to Rhea’s Entrepreneur Days I went. I got no promises of becoming a millionaire overnight. I did get insight into the entrepreneurial mindset. I did get education about making money with eBay, the stock market and real estate, just to name a few.

I also got the opportunity to talk face-to-face with the people who’ve been there, done that. That’s real life education!

You can check out the details on this year’s Entrepreneur Days by clicking on the link in the Marilyn’s Friends box on the right. Be sure to scroll way down the ED site to the pictures of the teachers. There are audio interviews to listen to for free. Good stuff.

Hope to see you there.

Blessings on you!
Marilyn

I loved his voice and his sense of humor. I loved the way he explained complex issues. He was all relaxed, always seemed a little amused at life: he made everything seem elementary. That is the mark of a truly articulate person.

There will be many eulogies, many tributes to Tony Snow.

I don’t think there can be a more revealing one than what Dan Perino said about Tony’s tenure as White House Press Secretary. Perino was Snow’s assistant at that time. He said,

“The White House has lost a great friend and a great colleague.
We all loved watching him at the podium, but most of all we
learned how to love our families and treat each other.”

We tend to think that it is our work, or the use of our talents, that will be our legacy. We think it is the accomplishment of some great task that will prove our worth.

I think we have it exactly backwards. Most of us will be forgotten within a generation. Our greatest accomplishments will be surpassed, absorbed into the ongoing flow of life and history. It is the small things: the offhand comment, the unconscious acts – whether kind, uplifting, encouraging and enlightening – or selfish, mean and low – that will be our true legacy.

Many times I’ve heard people say, “I’ll never forget what Joe said about____. It was a turning point for me.” And Joe doesn’t remember saying it.

My own life was profoundly affected by my best friend’s mother. She never gave me advice, her name won’t make it into any history book. She loved her irascible husband and five children and welcomed me into her home. That’s it. Yet, her example encouraged me in the true sense of that word. Her example gave me the courage to get married, to stay married, to have children and believe I could raise them.

Those things we do because of our character, that other people observe for good or ill, are the things that change lives. And those lives change other lives. And so the sins – and the redemptive acts – of the fathers are passed to the children, to the third and fourth generation.*

In the end, it is not what Tony snow did – it is who he was – that made him a wonderful human being.

Blessings on you!

Marilyn

*Deuteronomy 5:9

Fitness coach Bob Harper, best known for being the “nice” trainer on NBC’s “The Biggest Loser”, uses three little words.

This morning I was reading a book about growing in my spiritual/emotional life. There were those same three words.

You’ve probably used them yourself a thousand times without realizing how important they are.

The three little words are: Are you ready?

Mom glances in the rearview mirror of the minivan and says, “Are you ready?” She wants to know if the kids are safely buckled in, have their drink cups safely nestled in the cup holders and their books, mp3 players and whatever within reach. She wants to know they are prepared to make the trip.

A squad leader gives orders to his men and asks, “Are you ready?” He wants to know his soldiers have their gear in place and have set their minds to the task ahead, whether it’s a training run or a fight to the death.

Bob Harper asks a 400 lb man, “Are you ready?” He wants to know the guy is committed for the long haul, not going to bail out when it hurts.

Or is the guy wasting Bob’s time?

When Bob Harper asks, “Are you ready?” he’s asking, have you:

• Cast off your “right” to remain comfortable?
• Given up the idea that easy is good?
• Accepted the challenge?
• Realized that the hard road leads to a good place?
• Decided to trust your leader enough to follow, even when it seems crazy?

If you want change, whether it be in your body, your finances, or your relationships, one thing is sure. It won’t be easy. It will test you, stretch you and – at some point – you will want to give up.

So, whatever dreams, plans, needs or wants you have, go to a mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Say three little words:

“Are you ready?”

Blessings on you!

Marilyn

Shyamalan Not “Happening” This Time

Don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those people who thinks M. Night Shyamalan is a geek who makes geek movies for geeks. I mean, sure, he’s a geek, but in the best possible way. He’s smart, funny, original and inventive. He shows up in his own films, which is kind of a hoot. Plus, his films always have an underlying message that makes for interesting discussion on the way home from the theater.

That said, don’t read the rest of this if you want to see the movie and be surprised. I have no compunction about spoiling this for you.

“The Happening” really let me down. Firstly, the message is delivered in a ham fisted way. Secondly, the message is laughably Politically Correct and trite. Thirdly, there was way too much gore.

The gore was the least objectionable aspect for me. I just closed my eyes after the lions ate the guy’s first arm. (Maybe that’s why I missed seeing M. Night in this movie.) My problem with the gore is that it’s a big departure from Shyamalan’s style. When you’ve seen five of his films, you know the man’s style – his brand, if you will. So, I go to see a Shyamalan sci-fi cum suspense film and see a gore picture: can’t help it, I feel like a victim of bait and switch.

The laughable Politically Correct message is that humans are destroying the earth with pollution. Now, I understand that Global Warming is the cause du jour amongst film makers. So I can forgive Mr. Shyamalan for falling in line. I think I’d have been okay with it if he’d used his usual airy-fairy-mystical approach. You know: Gaia/Mother Earth is angry with us (remember Captain Planet?) Or maybe it’s just the spirits of the trees that are fed up with us.

No, this time M. Night decided to go “scientific.” And we all know that means Evolution. Yup, the plants have evolved the ability to kill off their predators…that would be you and me, the evil polluters. Here’s the part where I actually laughed out loud: one of the TV commentators so prevalent in Shyamalan’s films says, because of the increasing threat from mankind, the trees “had no choice but to speed up their evolution” and develop human-specific toxins.

Oh really? I thought evolution took millions of years and was completely random. Now the trees are deciding, not only how to evolve, but how fast to do it. Please.

The most egregious flaw in this film is that it leaves nothing to the imagination or the intellect. Another laugh-out-loud moment for me was when Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel were fleeing the model home in which they had found brief respite. They conveniently run past a huge sign touting the virtues of the housing development. At the very top of the sign we read:
“You deserve this!”

Every story has an underlying message, even if it’s only in the world view of the author. I understand that. But if you want to entertain people, you have to tell a compelling story. If you want to enlighten, inform or harangue people, you preach a sermon. Story as sermon is a sure recipe for a flop.

All the Way Home

Building a Family in a Falling-Down House, by David Giffels

This is a must-read for anyone that has ever wanted to buy an old house and rehab it into a thing of beauty. We’ve all seen the interior decorating magazine articles and home decorating tv shows: the before and after pictures. That’s what snares us. The dreary before pictures and the lovely, completely harmonious, light filled spaces of the “after” photos. What a wonderful thing that would be, to transform a dark old hulk into the pristine wonder of the neighborhood.

This book is neither the before nor the after. This is the in-between: the reality of buying your dream home and the nightmare of turning it into the home of your dreams.

It is also the story of a Grown-up Kid coming to grips with being a Man who must provide a home for his family. The Grown-up Kid provides us with plenty of humor along the way. He’s having a blast playing with his tools, inventing solutions and battling wild beasts (in the attic, no less.) The Man gives us cause for concern: will his family survive intact? He has to somehow balance his family’s need for livable shelter with their need for his physical presence.

Giffels’ prose makes this journey from Kid-to-Man and Hulk-to-House a wonderful read. Just listen to this, about a trip to the giant home-improvement store.

I came here for three things:

1. a can of expanding sealant, that magical stuff;

2. another three bags of mortar because this much I’ve learned:

a single bag of mortar is a fool’s errand; and

3: possibly a hinge.

The hinge is a lark…It’s heavy and antique and I know I will not find one here. But I have to look.

Looking for something we don’t think we’ll find—this is an understanding we share here in the wilds of the superstore.

We are people afraid of what might happen if our lives became comfortable.

We are people who don’t know nearly as much as we want the world to believe we know.

We are fathers. We are desperate to understand our place among people who desperately need us.

Our ambition is complicated…

I’ve stopped now, between Lighting and Doors.

A hinge—is it “hardware” or “fastener”?

We do not ask. We seek and discover. We, in the aisles: we are seekers and discoverers. This is our frontier. This is what we have left.

My one complaint about this delightful book is the lack of pictures. How did this get published without pictures? I mean, really!

And this is why I love the Internet. I Googled Mr. Giffels and found this wonderful slideshow.

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/04/17/garden/20080417akron

_index.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Now we can sit back, enjoy the before and after photos, and pretend it’s as easy as the television shows make it look!

Blessings on you!

Marilyn

I’ve been depressed. Not the “tears in my ears from lying on my backing crying over you” type depressed. Just the don’t-wanna-do-nuthin‘ kind. The kind that makes you no fun to be around.

Finally, a helpful thought blossomed: You need to dig in the dirt!

You see, I’d been doing two things with most of my time: writing and studying. That’s all well and good, but I needed some nature time.

So, last evening, I spent two hours in the garden pulling weeds, digging out a path, hauling gravel. When it was too dark to see, I came in and, while physically tired, I was emotionally revved.

This morning I faced the computer with aplomb, verve and – dare I say it? – happiness.

What is it about gardening that turns a sour hag into a serene matron?

I think it’s largely due to the fact that I cannot think while gardening. Or if I do, it’s in a very limited, detached way. My mind floats in and out, mostly out…and is occasionally yanked into stark awareness of the incredible intricacy of a fern, or the heady fragrance of a lily…I pause and marvel at the exquisite complexity of Creation.

And then I drift off into la-la land for awhile and come back refreshed.

And that is why we use the word recreation: it is Re-Creation!

What feeds your soul? What re-creates you?
And, when was the last time you took time for Re-Creation?

Blessings on you!
Marilyn