Miz Woody's Place

As I’ve said before, disciplining a child requires a lot of self-discipline on the part of the parent. At the time, I was  talking only about trying to give your child the habits and self-discipline that lead to things like: good health, using money wisely and looking their best. You know, the American Dream of Health, Wealth and Beauty.

Sadly, you could probably quickly come up with a long list of people who have all three of these blessings, yet lead miserable lives.

It is imperative that we give our children more. They need:

Discipline to Develop Wisdom

The Free Dictionary.com says wisdom is, “ the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight.”

Cicero, the great Roman philosopher said, “The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil.”

And, the Bible says, “…The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7

Notice that dictionaries, philosophers and religious writers all agree that wisdom has a moral component.

There is a school of thought that says:

“I don’t want to impose my morality on my child. I want her to be free to choose her own religion and develop her own philosophy.”

Here is my problem with that idea.

It is absurd.

It is absurd because:

1. If you care for your child at all, you have to give them values. Otherwise, their lives will be about the survival of the fittest. You may as well let them be raised by wolves.
2. Human beings are not like computers that can receive data and do nothing with it until the appropriate moment. The moment new information enters our minds we are sorting, filtering and integrating it into the framework already in place.
3. The rest of the world is very busy imposing values on your child.

It is not an imposition to give them a strong foundation on which to build their personal moral code. On the contrary, it is a great kindness.

Robot Kids?

Don’t worry that they will little automatons that believe everything they hear. Do you remember growing up? Somewhere around puberty you began to think about what you believed. You considered what you had been taught to believe. You decided which ideas you were going to accept or deny.

Your children will do the same.

Blessings on you!
Marilyn

http://bit.ly/instantvantage

Lessons from the Garden

Parenting sometimes seems so complex and difficult. This won’t be one of those times.  In fact, it may help with those times when you are wondering what in the world you are supposed to do with this kid.

Standing on a garden chair, reaching way over my head to prune a branch, I suddenly thought about raising children. It’s just like gardening.

I’ve been neglecting my garden for a while. I didn’t mean to, but life got intense and I just wasn’t able to get to the garden. Now that I can get back out there, hoo boy, is there a lot of work to do!
That can happen with your children, too. Maybe you have to work extra hours to make ends meet. Or, you are preoccupied with a rocky relationship with your spouse. Or, maybe you are sick for a long time. Sometimes, through no fault of your own, your kids get neglected.

When I first went back to the garden I was truly overwhelmed. There were trees and weeds popping up everywhere.  I almost despaired of it ever being civilized again. But, a little bit at a time, I am beating back the wilderness and my garden is emerging.

The bushes and perennials were still there, but some were wildly overgrown. Others had disappeared under rampant weeds. Many of them didn’t bloom at all this year because they didn’t get enough sun.

As I was pruning back that tree branch, I realized that parenting is like gardening. You just have to keep beating back the darkness.  I have to remove trees so my flowers can grow in the light. Parents have to cut, prune and dig out the ugly, dark stuff that keeps creeping into our kids’ lives.

I planted a climbing rose beneath some trees. I thought I would train it to grow up through the slender trees. Wouldn’t it be pretty to have the roses blooming up there in the branches of the trees? (Experienced gardeners are shaking their heads right now.)

The rose’s long branches kept growing away from the trees toward the light. I even tied the branches to the trees. I thought they would be fine once they grew up through the trees to the light. Wrong.

The branches I forced into the shade just stopped growing.

I was reminded of this:

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—
his eternal power and divine nature—
have been clearly seen,
being understood from what has been made…
Romans 1:20 New International Version

So much truth – light, if you will – is right there in nature.

How does this simple gardening metaphor help?

When you are faced with the difficult, confusing parenting decisions ask yourself a couple of questions.

“Will this ____( fill in the blank: activity, friend,  class, music, clothing, etc.) take her toward light (truth, honor, faithfulness, kindness, self-control) ?”

If you cannot answer, “Yes,” you need to do some pruning.

One Last Word

If you are overwhelmed by the weeds and darkness in your child’s life, do not despair. One day at a time, or one moment at a time, you can find the strength and compassion to bring in more light. Keep on seeking the light. Keep on pruning. It may take some time, but you will eventually see your child blossoming again.

Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path.
Psalm 119:105 New International Version

When we begin the parenting adventure, we start wondering, how will I discipline my child?

Before you figure out your parenting style and start searching for effective techniques and tips, take a little time to figure out:

WHY am I doing this?
“Why,” you ask, “do I need to ask why? Isn’t it obvious?”

Trust me on this one. When you are parenting your heart out, dispensing wisdom and discipline for sheer love of your adorable child, they won’t like it.

And neither will you.

When your little angel is sobbing her heart out, or your teen son screams that he hates you, your only comfort will be the Stark Truth.

The Stark Truth is that discipline is your child’s lifeline to a rich and satisfying life.

Begin with the End
Envision the man your son will become. See in your mind the woman into which your little girl will blossom.

Doctor Girl

Woman Doctor

What they will become is in them right now in seedling form. You are the gardener. Your job is to protect, nourish, prune and support them through the growing season.

What do you want to see in your adult child? What kind of life do you want him to have?

Example: If you want your child to be a healthy adult, provide a healthy environment. Then, model healthy living: eat, drink, exercise and sleep moderately. Set and keep limits on bedtime, mealtimes and junk food.

Already you can see that parenting requires a lot of discipline…a lot of self-discipline on the part of the parent.

Read more about this.

Photos
teresa-stanton
terren in Virginia
The U.S. Army